Fulham v Everton: Premier League – live!

78 min Mitrovic has made massive difference for Fulham, giving them a target and an out-ball. Even if he doesn’t create anything, the time he spends holding the ball is time not spent defending, and anything that achieves that is everything Fulham need.

74 min Talking of which, whatever happened to Paul McGregor of Forest and Merc fame?

74 min Tom Davies takes a break from making his difficult second album and replaces James Rodriguez.

72 min Do you credit Scott E. Parker for making good changes, or chastise him for picking a poor team? I’m not sure, but the alterations have worked and suddenly all the play is coming from the team in white, which probably tells us the team in yellow will score next.

71 min What an absolutely baffling endeavour this thing of ours is. I don’t know, really I don’t.

Well! Lookman absolutely rousts the underrated Digne on the outside, cuts back, and Loftus-Cheek’s shot is deflected past Pickford by Mina. Essentially, this game and this team are an absolute case.

Oh, Fulham! That was the rooftop swimming pool of penalties.

This is lovely! Mitrovic plays a wall-pass off Loftus-Cheek then steps beautifully over the return to fox Godfrey at the same time as making an angle for the shot … and Godfrey then runs across him!

65 min “When does Parker’s jaw detach from his machine gun style gum chewing?” wonders Mary Waltz.

The way he does it is so good, honest and old-fashioned. On which point, people suddenly thinking he’d become David Batty marked one of English football’s most peculiar times.

64 min A stray arm from Loftus-Cheek catches Allan, but a quick check reveals nothing untoward.

63 min I’m not a huge fan of this rendition of Everton’s away kit, but it does remind me of the 86-87 classic.

62 min Nice from Robinson, bursting past Doucoure, but just as he looks set to cross, he takes a heavy touch that ruins things.

61 min Loftus-Cheek is on the right for now while, in the middle, Mitrovic holds up and lays off for Cavaleiro, who drags a tame shot straight at Pickford.

60 min I hate to say it, but 3-1 at this point is good for Fulham, because things haven’t got worse and because a goal any time from now changes everything.

59 min I was surprised by how good people thought Loftus-Cheek could be, but I’m also surprised he’s not one of the key players in this Fulham team.

58 min A double change for Fulham, Loftus-Cheek and Mitrovic replacing Cairney and Decordova-Reid.

57 min Lookman’s doing well on the right and he finds Cairney, who immediately drills a shot into the nearest shins.

56 min In co-commentary, Martin Keown discusses how well Iwobi has played today, and that Ancelotti seems to be helping him do the right things at the right time. I’d like to see him play well against better opposition, but his ball-carrying capacity is a huge plus for this team.

56 min These last couple of minutes have been better for Fulham, but then Robinson scythes through Iwobi and is booked.

55 min Nice from Lookman, foraging down the right and crossing low, but there’s Allan getting in the road as Lemina scavenges for a shot.

53 min Pickford humps clear and the second ball drops to Calvert-Lewin, 35 yards out. It “sits up lovely”, so he cracks a shot that’s straight at Areola.

52 min Allan was a terrific signing by Everton, the kind of player who sets a tone for the rest and who must be an absolute evilness to play against.

51 min Everton look really confident now, evidenced by how well Godfrey charges out of defence. He’s foiled eventually, but his team know they’ve got this.

49 min Lookman is now on the right, presumably to try and pin Digne back. Good luck with that, old mate.

48 min We’ve only been going three minutes, but Everton are dominating.

47 min Everton win a free-kick down the left and Digne’s delivery is again impeccable while Fulham’s marking is unimpeccable, and Richarlison turns just around the near post.

46 min On which point, I’m increasingly of the opinion that this is the greatest tune about London.

Back come the teams, to the Clash. No points for imagination, but what a tune.

That was a really entertaining half, but Fulham are so dreadful they could stand for high office.

45+2 min More possession from Everton, even Michael Keane getting involved, before Richarlison fashions space and Areola has to beat away his shot. The defending in front of him is spectacularly miserable.

45 min I wish I could look at Fulham’s bench and see a way for them to change this, but I cannot.

43 min Is James limping? He seems to be, but looks alright in finding Doucoure, so probably nothing to worry about – unless you’re a Fulham fan.

42 min Goodness me, first Richarlison can’t quite get a sliding volley on James’ prompt, then Digne drives over another low cross and Andersen misses it … but so does Richarlison. This could get exceedingly messy.

40 min Elsewhere, Rangers lead Aberdeen 2-0; given Celtic’s draw yesterday, 10 in a row looks a very long way away.

39 min If Fulham’s defending has improved lately, how much fun was it previously? The back four seem to think marking is for other people.

Dearie Fulham. Someone, James I think, spreads wide to Digne whose first touch is a beauty. It doesn’t look much, but it kills the pass and transfers it perfectly into stride, ready for an equally simple yet

37 min “Lucas Digne has his admirers,” tweets Gary Naylor, “but he’s still the most underrated player in the Premier League.”

Similarly, Belgium are my dark horses for the European Championships. But yeah, joking aside, his delivery from the left is very, very good.

32 min On VAR – sorry – are we ready to conclude that none of us fell in love with football because of the effectiveness of its decision-making process, and getting the calls right, or at least improving them by a a few percentage points, doesn’t really matter? Last night’s Man United-West Brom game for example: you can make a convincing argument that all the right things happened in the end – just as you can that they didn’t – but who enjoyed things more as a consequence. Ultimately, what football needs to grasp is that the 90-minute aspect of it is only … football.

Iwobi mooches inside, leaving three or four defenders hypnotised with the rhythmic softness of his feet, spreads to James, who goes immediately out to Digne, and he serves a perfect first-time caress that Calvert-Lewin punches home with minimum effort and maximum prejudice.

30 min VAR is looking at that goal for a potential offside, but concludes that it’s better not to be a baby.

30 min Decordova-Reid is booked for challenge on Richarlison that he made before the goal.

29 min “Those who are saying Fulham are bad clearly didn’t see them two seasons ago!” returns Richard Hirst.

Can’t argue with that.

27 min “I’m fairly sure in one of my Shoot! magazines from the time,” tweets Stew Todd, “Jimmy Greaves recommended that Liverpool send Aldridge to Juventus and keep Rush as they wouldn’t spot the difference between the two. Simpler times.”

Well Jim should know.

25 min Iwobi crosses and Adarabioyo’s is the first head to meet it, sending the ball towards his own goal. But it’s an easy take for Areola, who livens up proceedings by dropping it … but over the bar. Naturally, he then makes like this was his plan all along, fooling the entirety of the Craven Cottage crowd.

24 min “In fact, they’re so bad,” returns Stephen Carr, “that Sam Allardyce is looking into the cost of a pint of wine in the Fulham area.”

I’m fairly sure that round that way, wine is only served in carafes.

22 min This is a really enjoyable game. Neither side has the first clue about defending.

20 min Brilliant from Richarlison, who wins back possession chasing towards his own centre-circle, takes the ball back from Allan, and daintily charges past three challenges before diddling Adarabioyo with a lovely change of direction. He looks certain to score, opening his body to pass clinically into the bottom corner, completing a magical goal before knee-sliding into oblivion, only for Areola to make a very smart save down to his left.

20 min Fulham are playing much better now – I said Everton probably wouldn’t play three at the back but I think they are, and Iwobi is as much a wing-back as Godfrey is a full-back, so though the goal from the right, the majority of their activity is coming down the left.

18 min While I was looking for Bob references, Calvert-Lewin gets the ball into the net, this time via expert’s clipped finish after good work from Iwobi, but went too early and was offside.

17 min “To resume our relationship from the cricket season,” says Richard Hirst before the euqaliser “and bringing my two passions together – it takes a lot to laugh, it takes a Fulham supporter to cry.”

You were so much older then, you’re younger than that now.