A relationship “worth fighting for” despite some bumps in the road

Andrew Douglas Ousley and Fay Eva Leshner met through mutual friends on August 9, 2014 while having cocktails at the now-closed Portuguese restaurant Pão. in SoHo. They bonded instantly, as creative New Yorkers often do.

Ms. Leshner, 35, is a freelance stylist and fashion designer from Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Mr. Ousley, 40, who is from midtown Manhattan, owns Unison Media, an advertising and branding agency for classical musicians. he also runs death of the classica New York-based nonprofit group that presents classical music concerts in crypts, catacombs, and cemeteries.

“Fay was charismatic, had a fun presence and a passion for life that came immediately,” said Mr Ousley.

Ms. Leshner said she was “so comfortable being with him, that I became my inappropriate, goofy self.”

A first date took place four days later at Love and Bitter, Mr. Ousley’s favorite East Village cocktail spot. Although Ms. Leshner was an hour late, Mr. Ousley remained unfazed. The couple had a drink and then went to dinner at Raoul’s bistro in SoHo.

A second date followed, then a third. The couple moved quickly, creating a relationship rhythm that involved New York’s nightlife, cooking, music, friends and parties.

His first major coup occurred in February 2017, when Mr Ousley accepted what he called “a once-in-a-lifetime gig” playing guitar and singing on a six-week cruise to Antarctica. With little Wi-Fi available and few opportunities to talk, each felt disconnected.

“We really struggled,” Ousley said. “I had to forgive myself for going on this crazy trip and not being there when Fay needed me, because she was going through some family issues, and forgive her when she got mad at me for not being there.”

Mrs. Leshner’s father was ill and she said, “I wish Andrew was there with me, instead of away. I missed him deeply and realized he was worth fighting for.”

When Mr. Ousley returned in late March, the couple quickly bridged the gap created by their separation, and in July 2017, they moved into their first two-bedroom apartment together in Long Island City, Queens. For 18 months, their relationship thrived. But then Mr. Ousley dove deeper into his work and their relationship began to decline.

“I lost sight of us and the life we ​​shared,” Ousley said. “I realized that I had been prioritizing the wrong thing and refocused on Fay and myself.”

Ms. Leshner said she had felt secondary to Mr. Ousley’s work. “When I brought that up, it got shut down,” she said. “He felt lost but not disappeared. I didn’t want to leave him and I gave him a chance to change, which he did. He made me time, he surprised me with plans and flowers. I felt important and I realized it again.”

The pandemic brought an appreciation for their shared isolation and the life they had built together, then moving to Greenpoint, Brooklyn in July 2020 offered the couple a fresh start.

Mr. Ousley proposed to her at Monsignor McGolrick Park in Greenpoint on August 13, 2021. As the couple strolled, he led Ms. Leshner to a musician who was playing a song he had written years ago for Ms. Leshner in a guitar and that he had secretly hired. Mr. Ousley whistled, then sang and danced. Then a videographer, a photographer and a trumpet player appeared, hiding in the bushes.

“We never talked about getting married or if we wanted to,” said Ms. Leshner, who answered yes, and was “struck with good emotions. He was crying, dizzy and overwhelmed with joy.

The couple married June 1 at Holy Trinity Church on the Upper East Side, with 50 close family and friends in attendance. Mr. Ousley’s father, the Rev. Canon John Douglas Ousley, an Episcopal priest and honorary assistant to the church, performed the ceremony.

Two days later, around 270 guests greeted the newlyweds in the Great Hall, an underground space at St. Mary’s Catholic Church on the Lower East Side. They celebrated with a cabaret-style wedding ceremony complete with a swing band and stage performances. Everyone danced until 1 am while enjoying Manhattans and martini cocktails.

“Fay has opened up my world more deeply than anyone I’ve ever met,” the groom said. “She taught me how family works and how to love emotionally and unconditionally.”

The bride spoke similarly. “We both learned to be together and to be emotionally honest,” she said. “I feel safe and loved.”