‘Brawls and bottling sending off an armed robber – life as a Sunday ref’

They run around the pitch, often in black, largely unnoticed and ignored – until something goes wrong or they make a mistake. Then they are booed by crowds, sworn at by players and spat on from the stands. Threatened, blamed, hated and vilified… it’s safe to say even traffic wardens are more popular than football referees today. Ritually abused and undermined by the VAR (Video Assistance Referee) system, they’re in a no win situation much of the time. Now, new book The Impossible Job by award winning sports writer William Ralston lifts the lid on the brutal world of football refereeing, showing why there is a global shortage of people willing to take on the position. “I trained as a referee myself as part of the research for this book because I really wanted to understand the pressure they are under,” reveals Ralston, a 37-year-old father of one who qualified as a Level 7 fan with the FA, meaning he officiates grassroots and youth football.

“The bravery of these guys to make an unpopular decision in front of 80,000 screaming fans.” Ralston, originally from Cheshire and a Manchester United fan, lost control of one of the very first Sunday League matches he refereed in Ramsgate in 2024. “All 22 players ended up in this mass brawl on the pitch, I had completely lost control of the game,” he recalls. “I dropped my whistle and accidentally restarted my stopwatch. I should have abandoned it but I was too scared to. It was my lowest point. Completely humiliating.” He almost called the police and sitting at the bus stop after the game, he very nearly quit. “Another time in Whitstable I had been warned one of the players was a former armed robber just released from prison,” he says. “He head-butted a player. I should have pulled out a red card but I bottled it and pulled out a yellow. “I got a lot of abuse from the supporters and they were right but I was intimidated when I saw the anger in his eyes and thought I might get head-butted too. My girlfriend doesn’t really like me refereeing,” he quietly admits.

From his fellow officials at Sunday league pitches, who have had to pick up animal excrement from pot-holed pitches with wonky lines, to the top professionals directing sports stars at the FIFA World Cup, his book reveals the tolls refereeing takes on a person’s physical and mental health.

Ralston goes behind the scenes with referees across Europe’s five major leagues – Bundesliga, Serie A, La Liga, Ligue 1, and of course the Premier League, following them through training camps, assessment rooms, and match days, where a single call can define a career. “It isn’t just the abuse referees get, it is the lack of support from the FA,” he says. “Being shouted out, punched, having their cars keyed are all really common at all levels.”

Ralston describes one horrifying experience endured by top English referee Anthony Taylor, who presided over the 2023 UEGA Europa League Final between Roma and Sevilla at the Puskas Arena in Budapest. Sevilla beat AS Roma 4-1 on penalties, handing Roma manager Jose Mourinho his first defeat in six European finals. And the Special One blamed Taylor.

Ralston writes: “The match had been chaotic. Petty fouls, objects hurled onto the pitch, diving. Players swarming Taylor, coaching staff pressing him at every turn. Taylor had brandished 14 yellow cards, a record for a Europa League game. It had been the most difficult match of his career.”

Much worse was to come. In a press conference afterwards, Mourinho blamed Taylor saying that he should have awarded Roma a late penalty for a handball. Later in the car park Mourinho found Taylor and hurled a volley of abuse at him before boarding the team bus.

Ralston goes on to describe an horrific scene at the airport when Taylor is with his wife and children waiting to board a delayed flight home to the UK. Angry Italian fans swarmed them, screaming in their faces, spitting and throwing punches, sending bottles and chairs flying. Ralston continues: “On the flight, death threats surfaced online. After the plane landed, police officers escorted Taylor and his family home.”

“Security guards stayed with them through the night. Then Taylor’s phone pinged. Someone had leaked his number online and thousands of threatening messages arrived.” Taylor himself said: “The whole thing centred around some mythical handball that didn’t exist.” Such was his fear of reprisals that he never refereed at an Italian club again or even returned to Italy despite being invited to a wedding there. Who said, “It’s only a game?”

Mourinho received a four-match ban for his behaviour and Roma got a paltry 55,000 euros (£47,000) fine – less than a player’s weekly salary. Ralston says: “It was hard to get referees to open up about what they go through and I was grateful to Taylor for sharing that horrific experience with me.”

Taylor retired last month after officiating at 668 matches in the England professional game, including every major domestic cup final and 163 international fixtures. He described his career as “an immense privilege” but added, “the pressure is intense and the scrutiny is constant”. Ralston goes further saying being a referee is “a lightning rod for abuse, a distraction from other people’s failings. It feels like you can’t do anything right. Sometimes, the job is simply impossible”.

But he says the referee is just one factor in the outcome of a match. “It could be because a club did or didn’t buy a certain player, who was substituted – there are so many factors that determine the result of a game but because football is such a low scoring game, the referee takes an unfair share of the blame for a bad result.”

Taylor was a prison officer before becoming a top flight referee, a job where it is essential to be able to control a group of angry young men before situations escalate into violence. Before that he was a hotel receptionist, “another job that rewards reading people well”, says Ralston.

Talking of angry men, Ralston says referees do well not to pull out their cards too early in a game, and points to the England Argentina World Cup semi-final refereed by American Ismail Elfath. “He could have pulled out his yellow card so many times in that first half but he let the game settle and although he was criticised he wasn’t the reason England lost the game.”

And then there is VAR… most football fans dislike it, mostly due to the long review delays disrupting the game and ruining goal celebrations. A major survey by the Football Supporters Association revealed 75% of Premier League fans oppose the system.

However Ralston discovers through his extensive talks with referees that most of them feel differently. Marco Guida, an Italian referee explains why VAR is a good thing for them. “When you make a big decision now, you are confirmed by a VAR, you know it’s a good decision 90% of the time. With VAR, honestly you are much stronger.”

Off the field, Guida works with a private psychologist to him manage the pressures of the job at the highest level and to concentrate on what matters – the opinions of his bosses rather than what fans, players or sports pundits are saying.

“If you focus too much on anything else you may as well drop your whistle and go the dressing room,” he tells Ralston. Guida spends hours alone reading with no smart phone, training his focus like a muscle. “Behind the scenes, we work a lot,” he says simply. Slavko Vincic, 2024 Champions League final referee adds: “Refereeing is not about being liked but about being trusted and trust is hard to earn, easy to lose. This book understands that.”

Ralston points to the EFL Championship play-off final between Huddersfield Town and Nottingham Forest on May 29, 2022 at Wembley Stadium. Jon Moss refereed and it was the final game of his professional refereeing career. A family celebration in London to celebrate his retirement was planned for after the game. Moss controversially denied Huddersfield two late penalties and they lost.

“The Championship play-off is one of the biggest games in terms of the money it means to the winning team because it is entry into the Premiership so the pressure is as high as it gets,” says Ralston. “John got so much abuse he ended up in a hotel under police guard, his retirement celebration abandoned and his shop Vinyl Whistle in Leeds was attacked.”

So it is easy to see, however well paid a referee is at the top end of the game, why so many are leaving the profession. Meanwhile down in Level 7 Ralston is preparing to referee his next match: the Herne Bay Veterans against Anchorians. “At this level you’ve got the players eating a McDonald’s breakfast on the sidelines and having a smoke before a game,” he laughs. “I know I’ve made it sound awful but when you make the right decisions and win the respect of the players and they shake your hand after the game, there is a thrill, it’s addictive. Anyway this one is just a pre-season friendly.” Let’s hope for his sake it does remain friendly.

• The Impossible Job: The Truly Unbelievable World of Football Referees by William Ralston (Viking, £22) is out now. William Ralston will be at Stanchion Books, London, on September 10 and at House of Books and Friends in Manchester on September 15. Check their websites for tickets