Dylan Alcott: ‘I’m proud of my disability, I’m proud of who I am’

Did you experience any barriers when dating? It was probably the thing I was most insecure about my whole life, especially when I was younger. But if you’re disabled, you know what? You might put yourself out in the market, get knocked down once, twice, three times. It can be really hard. But for every dickhead who discriminates against you, there are 10,000 other legends worth hanging out with. Find those people. And if you’re able-bodied, and you see someone at the bar who is blind, in a wheelchair, has autism, whatever … ask them on a date!

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What do you now know about sex that you wish you’d known when you were younger? [Growing up], googling sex and disability, there was nothing there. You’d watch porn and think, “Well, I can’t do that!” That adds to insecurities you already have. But one thing I’ve learnt is that people can have sex in any way. And obviously, I must be doing something right if I’ve managed to lock down someone like Chantelle.

POLITICS

Your autobiography is titled Able. How do you feel about the term “disabled”? Oh, I love the word “disabled”.

Why? When some people [introduce me], they’ll say, “He’s … a differently abled person.” I’m like, “Just say the word ‘disabled’. ” I’m proud of my disability, I’m proud of who I am. When I go up to little kids with a disability, I say, “What’s your name?”, and then, “What’s your disability?” Their parent might go, “She doesn’t have a disability” – even though she’s clearly in a wheelchair. That’s already telling her being disabled is a bad thing. We all need to say “disabled” – because guess what? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a disability. It makes you different. And there’s nothing wrong with being different.

Australia ranks poorly among OECD nations when it comes to quality of life for people with disabilities. Why? In Australia, we’re very good at what I call “the hardware”. Things like elevators, ramps, crossings, hearing loops. There’s work to do, but we’re getting better. Where we fall down is the software. You can have all the best accessibility features in terms of the hardware, but if you’re not going to give us a bloody job, what’s the point? There are around 4.5 million Australians with some form of disability; 20 per cent of the population. We have higher levels of retention rates and lower absenteeism. We respect the work and don’t take sick days. Yet unemployment is double that of able-bodied people.

Would you ever run for political office? Would you vote for me?

Well, what would your platforms be? [Laughs] Mate, maybe one day! I don’t rule anything out, but sometimes you can have more influence outside of politics. At the moment, I’m pretty busy. I’ve just turned 30. I’m not going to lie, it’s definitely something I’ve thought of.

Does any political party speak to you? No, I just like political parties that respect people with disabilities and fund things so people with disabilities can succeed. And, most importantly, listen to lived experience. If you want to speak about somebody, they need a seat at that table. On committees, advisory boards, ASX boards and in government.

DEATH

You were born with a tumour wrapped around your spinal cord. Was it a life and death situation? I do a lot of motivational speaking, and I have a slide of me [alone] in hospital with a little teddy bear, looking pretty sick. My parents now say they were by my side every night in hospital. “Or so they say!” is the joke I make.

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Later, my dad said, “You know that photo? The reason it’s blurry is [you] had a really bad infection; the doctor said they needed to give [you] a dose of steroids.” They told him, “You should take a photo, because he’s probably not gonna be here in the morning.” The reason the photo is blurry is because my dad was crying so much. I didn’t know that until I was 27 years old. I’m lucky I’m alive.

You’ve said sports saved your life. How? I got bullied heaps when I was 12 to 14. I was embarrassed about my disability. I was overweight. I started hating myself. I stayed at home for two years playing video games and eating junk food. It ruined my life.

There were two things that saved me. My family. I wish I’d talked to them earlier, because as soon as I talked about how I was feeling, I felt better. Second, playing sport. When I hated myself, I went to a tennis tournament. I was no good but I played. And when I got there, I saw a guy in a wheelchair driving a car. I’d never seen that before. And he was married with kids. I was like, “Oh my god, I didn’t know you could have kids.” They were smiling; they were happy. The social aspect of sport, meeting people like me, changed my life. That’s why I’m now working in the media. When I was growing up, I never saw anybody like me on TV, on the radio, in the paper. If I had, I would have been like, “I can do that.”

Dylan Alcott will be part of Nine’s commentary team for the 2021 Australian Open.

diceytopics@goodweekend.com.au

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