England v Pakistan: second Test, day two – live!

46th over: Pakistan 126-5 (Babar 25, Rizwan 4) Mohammad Rizwan plays out the last two balls of the over.

The players are out on the field, and live sport is upon us. Chris Woakes has two balls remaining in his eigth over.

“Aah,” weeps Digvijay Yadav. “Steve Finn. Had everything going for him and after Edgbaston 2015 and that tour of South Africa mentioned, looked like he had all the issues (read run up) behind him. Then the next thing you know, he played his last Test for England aged 27.”

Before Jofra, I hadn’t seen an England bowler with as much potential – not even Steve Harmison. I suspect that ultimately Finn had too keen a mind for his own good. (This may also be Jos Buttler’s problem as a Test batsman.) There was a terrific chat with Finn during the lunch break of one of the South Africa Tests – he spoke about his career like he was his own biographer, with such insight and a complete lack of bitterness, frustration or self-pity.

If he is so inclined, he will write a genuinely great autobiography, partly for the same reasons that he didn’t become the great bowler we all hoped. (I realise 125 Test wickets at 30 and 102 ODI wickets at 29 is still darn good, and puts him 227 up on the rest of us. But a lot of us thought he would take at least 300 in each format.)

“You do know that there are still some purists out there, short-form deniers, who only acknowledge Test match cricket as worthy of their time and of having value?” says Ian Copestake. “Twenty-what? OD-who? It’s five-dayers or nothing for this bunch. A pretty tight crew.”

Copestake, I’ve warned you before not to talk about this thing in public.

The batsman-wicketkeeper plot thickens

“In other news,” writes Ali Martin at the Ageas Bowl, “Jofra currently has the keeping gloves on (second day running).”

“There is another, very important, Jimmy stat looming on the horizon,” says Chris Drew. “A thousand wickets in first-class cricket. He’s currently on 967. Not many players in modern times will achieve that total.”

Especially if they are a seamer. I’m not sure who the last was, maybe Andy Caddick in 2005. A few spinners have achieved it since then.

Lunch is at 1.30pm and I don’t know what else to tell you.

Batter v batsman “Also,” says Graeme Thorn, “‘batter’ introduces some symmetry – the other playing roles on the field are fielder, (wicket)-keeper and bowler, you don’t say ‘bowlsman’, ‘wicket-keepsman’ or ‘fieldsman’ very often, if at all.”

That’s a good email. Good enough, in fact, that I’ll forgive all those double quote marks I had to edit.

“Good morning RA Smyth,” says James Debens. “Some cricketers are revealed to be mortals. I’d just watched Alan Igglesden bowl very well v Yorkshire (taking the wickets of Michael Vaughan and David Byas), only to watch in horror as he executed a 33-point turn in the car park of the Mote Park ground. Richie Richardson, in comparison, made an effortlessly smooth exit. Things were never the same for me after that summer of 1994, but at least I had Winnie by my side.

“PS Winnie being my Winfield jotter.”

That’s a great story, I can picture it now, Iggy strugg- HANG ON, HE KNOWS MY MIDDLE INITIAL!

“As a kid, I used to the hold the bat by swapping my top and bottom hand,” says Damian Clarke. “No one in the colts or school picked up on it until until I joined Maidenhead and Bray at the age of about ten. In an early nets assessment session, a certain Michael Parkinson came over and asked just what the hell did I think I was playing at, and made me change my method. I thought he was very rude, but it did seem to work better, so begrudging respect was due, I suppose.”

I wish this was on YouTube.

“When did they all become batters?” says Anthony Farmer. “It’s not baseball.”

There’s this new thing in society called ‘women’, I don’t know whether you’ve heard of them. (For what it’s worth, I still use ‘batsmen’ most of the time in men’s games, but surely you can understand why many people say ‘batter’.)

“Steve Pye (11.07am) mentioned the Oval Test of 1995,” says Stephen Bickers. “Looking at the scoreboard, I see that three England players reached the 90s, but none of them made a century. Is that a record for players falling short in one Test match?”

Yep, though it’s shared with a few other teams, including West Indies in Trinidad in 1934-35 and Pakistan in Abu Dhabi in 2018-19.

“In James Taylor’s all too brief England career he was brilliant at short leg,” says Graham Pierce. “He pulled off an absolutely belting catch there to dismiss Hashim Amla from a proper shot. It was such a shame he lost the chance to cement a position in the team and set the standard for close in fielding like that.”

He really was terrific. That South Africa tour of 2015-16 was sadly a false dawn for a few players: Taylor, Nick Compton, Steve Finn (who bowled magnificently) and even Trevor Bayliss as a Test coach.

“It is possible for a right-hander to bat with his left hand below his right,” says Steve Hudson. “In the 1980s I played against a mid-Wales side that included a No 4 who did exactly that. He had played for the County side too, they said. It took some time to get used to the quirkiness of this. Anything (and I mean anything) pitched outside off stump was smashed along the carpet for four. After a while we realised that anything on leg stump left him completely strokeless. We stuck it there and he duly holed out.”

I’m trying to practise it now, admittedly with a coat hanger, and it just feels weird. I think I’ve put my back out, too, and I was only trying to steer it to third man for one.

“I cannot believe Blur v Oasis was 25 years ago!” says Julie Wilson. “The year I went to Glastonbury where Oasis were playing and the year I got married!”

Time flies when you’r- wait, hang on.

It has stopped raining and the clean-up operation is under way. There will be an inspection at 11.50am. In the meantime, I’m off to grab a coffee.

“Not a slip or short leg, and not England, but Jonty Rhodes was clearly picked for his fielding – certainly in ODIs,” says Zadok Prescott. “His batting average was fairly… average, about 35 – but he would regularly add 15-20 runs saved with ridiculous stops – and batsmen certainly grew less likely to sneak a single anywhere near his backward point region. On top of the fielding runs he contributed – he would regularly pick up one or two wickets a match that were not really meant to be out with any other mere mortal fielding at backward point, either caught or run out. I’ve never seen a more pro-active fielder, he seemed to anticipate shots in his area and start moving before the batsmen completed the stroke, enabling him to make an extra few metres to make a runs save, catch or run-out.”

I’m not sure I agree that he was clearly picked for his fielding, even though he was outrageously good. I think he falls into the same category as Derek Randall – that if a selection was 50/50, maybe 45/55, he would get the nod. You could argue that because his fielding was so good he was slightly underappreciated as a batsman, certainly during his peak years in the late 1990s and early 2000s.

“Why do people think that one rare excellent innings by Buttler, after an embarrassingly bad time keeping wicket, makes it the right to cement his place as wicketkeeper?” says Richard Smith. “He leaks runs behind the stumps, when he is up to the wicket for a spinner the ball invariably bounces off of him and he has no idea of stumping! For me the wicketkeeper has the only truly specialist fielding position and should have the best available ‘keeper’ in place.”

Whether you like it or not – and I think I might just know the answer – the role nowadays is batsman/wicketkeeper, not the other way round. It’s not going to change, so we might as well accept it and all send hate mail to Adam Gilchrist for vandalising culture with his genius.

“It seems worth adding that England should never have the same wicketkeeper for all three formats,” says Tim Sanders. “This hasn’t been a problem so far because everyone got a rest in the spring, and then we had separate Test and ODI ‘bubbles’. But if the intention is to go back to how it was from 2014-2015, when Buttler kept wicket in Tests, ODIs and T20s, that would seem a mistake given the usual scheduling. I remember Buttler had to miss a few games with fatigue during that time. As a long-term admirer of Jonny, I feel a little sad to lean the opposite way to Vic Marks; and I am trying to be less curmudgeonly when Jos does well.”

I think this extended break is a good thing for Bairstow, who for his last 18 months in the Test match was repeatedly running head-first into a brick wall and telling everyone he was fine, he didn’t feel a thing. I wish he would help himself, though – his latest plan to bat No3 and keep wicket for Yorkshire is entirely ludicrous. For such a no-nonsense cricketer, he doesn’t half make some senseless decisions. But when he does get back in the Test team, as I suspect he will at some stage before the Ashes, I’d expect his batting form to be a lot closer to his 2016-17 best.

“I am cheered that the world has come round to my way of thinking with your confirmation that 35 is the new 40,” says Ian Copestake. “I do however live in an even braver new world in which 51 is the new 35. Join us.”

“With regards to John Starbuck’s email, last year the Australians were swooning about Bancroft’s close catching to the point it made one think that’s the reason he played,” says Digvijay Yadav. “In fairness, he was brilliant there. And I see that you let Hameed’s mention slide without a comment. I am sure there is a player there and one that’ll make it.”

Here’s Iain Mott on the subject of batting stances. “I’m sure there was a Pakistan batsman, maybe in the 1970s, who played with his LEFT hand BELOW his right. Can anyone remember this?”

It was Wasim Raja. And all the other left-handers. But this is crap banter and you should ignore me, as you clearly meant a right-hander. I can’t think of anyone – surely that would be impossible? Even Paul Collingwood would deem such a grip to be a bit over the top (hand).

“We really ought to be hearing that the England coaching staff are prioritising close catching training, including analyses of position, stance and reactivity,” says John Starbuck. “Catches have always gone down at times and doubtless more will do so, but giving yourself an extra edge by having tip-top slips and other really close fielders should be imperative. On which note, I saw Haseeb Hameed take a couple of snorters at very short square in Notts’s last match. Has anyone ever been sacked/brought in for their close catching alone?”

Alan Oakman wasn’t picked for his ability at short square leg during the 1956 Ashes – but it helped. Derek Randall might have edged a 50/50 selection because of his fielding, though I don’t know of any examples on record. And though close catching isn’t the reason for his immortality, it would be remiss to post this entry without using the words Gary and Pratt.

Twenty-five years ago today, two of Britain’s most popular pop groups released singles. Thanks to Gavin Monks for this particular nostalgic rush.

Jos v Jonny v Ben v Jos v Jonny

“Morning Rob,” says John. “Am I alone in thinking that despite his innings to help win the match last time out – for which Buttler DOES deserve to have kept his place – he had another really poor day behind the stumps yesterday? He was moving back when Burns shelled the slip catch and should have been in place to take that, plus he failed to stop two or three down the leg side. Maybe I’m being unfair, but I guess I’ve just run out of patience, and I would bet money that he will never get his batting average up to 40. He’s just not good enough.”

I can see all three sides of this debate. I was strongly in favour of Buttler’s recall in 2018, and he batted really well for the first year. His innings the other day was extraordinary, too. He’s in a strange position in that, if all three contenders are in top form, Bairstow is the best batsman and Foakes the best keeper. But Buttler has unique ability and last Saturday could/should empower him so much.

The keeping doesn’t bother me as much as it probably should, especially when the ball is wobbling, though it will probably cost England in Asia. I thought Foakes was treated appallingly last year, but at this precise moment in time I think Buttler deserves to keep his place. The only certainty is that we will be having this conversation in one form or another in pretty much every Test for the next 3-4 years. And it’ll become even more complicated when Bairstow rams 327 off 307 balls for Yorkshire this week.

(Incidentally, I think an average of 40 is a red herring. Batting has become so difficult in Test cricket – the toughest I can remember since the mid-90s – that 35 is the new 40. If Buttler averages 35, pulls off the occasional miracle victory and keeps competently, I think England will be very happy. But my gut feeling is that, come the first Test in Brisbane in 15 months’ time, Bairstow will be keeping and batting No7.)

It’s grim down south, and I’d be surprised if we get any play before lunch.

England don’t really draw Test matches any more: just five in the last 50 and two in the last 29, stats that deserves their own Cliff Richard song. But if they want to maintain a mood of result positivity over the next few days, they could face a race against time. Thunderstorms and bad light meant only 45.4 overs were possible on the first day at the Ageas Bowl, with Pakistan struggling to 126 for five against some challenging bowling. The forecast is equally moody for the rest of the match.

The good news is that, when the players are on the field, the game should rattle along at a decent pace. There was swing and seam for the England bowlers yesterday, so Mohammad Abbas in particular should enjoy himself when the time comes. Might be today, might be tomorrow; it’s beyond our control.