For stinking rich Saudi money, Mickelson is like a rat up the drainpipe

He said that! He really said that! In a blue between the PGA and the Saudi regime, he applied the term “manipulative, coercive, strong-arm tactics” to the PGA, not the Saudis, who behead political dissidents in public squares.

In response to the outcry – which included many of his sponsors running to the exits – Mickelson announced he was to take some “desperately needed time away” from golf, releasing a statement.

A rogues gallery.Credit:Getty

“Although it doesn’t look this way now given my recent comments, my actions throughout this process have always been with the best interest of golf, my peers, sponsors, and fans.

“I used words I sincerely regret that do not reflect my true feelings or intentions.”

Which ones, Phil? The one about the Saudis being “scary motherf—ers”, or the ones saying the PGA is the true bully in the piece? But please, do go on.

“It was reckless, I offended people, and I am deeply sorry for my choice of words. I’m beyond disappointed and will make every effort to self-reflect and learn from this.”

Great! And we all awaited with interest what your self-reflection would come up with! But sorry, I interrupted. Please go on.

Mickelson was acclaimed  when winning the US PGA at 50 years and 11 months - the oldest major winner ever.

Mickelson was acclaimed when winning the US PGA at 50 years and 11 months – the oldest major winner ever.Credit:AP

“Golf desperately needs change, and real change is always preceded by disruption. I have always known that criticism would come with exploring anything new. I still chose to put myself at the forefront of this to inspire change, taking the hits publicly to do the work behind the scenes.”

Nelson Mandela, eat your heart out! He did 27 years in a prison cell, but you are doing this your way. So, keep going on the self-reflecting and get back to us.

And here we go! A puff of white smoke, from your management team! What do you say, Steve Loy, co-president of Sportfive?

“Our client Phil Mickelson is officially registered to play in the PGA Championship as well as the US Open.”

Good. So far, so dull.

“We have also filed a request on his behalf for a release to play in the first LIV Golf Invitational in London, June 9-11.”

Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman and Greg Norman.

Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman and Greg Norman.Credit:Fairfax Media

Sorry, what??? Your client was torn apart for even countenancing the possibility of taking the money, and took time out for self-reflection, and has reflected that the best way forward is to apply to play? But, do go on I say!

“Phil currently has no concrete plans on when and where he will play. Any actions taken are in no way a reflection of a final decision made, but rather to keep all options open.”

More reflections! Excellent. With so much reflecting and reflections, Steve, can I suggest you and your client go into our own Roy and H.G’s “room full of mirrors,” – look it up – and have a good look at yourselves? Is there a clue there that you can see Greg Norman over your right shoulder? But, even more pertinently, look at the blood on the walls. That’s Kashoggi’s. Look at the blood stains on the paving. They’re from the executed dissidents and those stains don’t fade with time. Your client now has those stains on him, as does Greg Norman. Nice work. A pox on all your houses, starting with the House of Saudi and all the rats scrambling towards it.

Twitter: @Peter_Fitz

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