Fortnite’s New Nike Characters Are Made Of… Hmm

FortniteEpic’s free online Battle Royale is one of the biggest games in the world and contains some of the most famous characters in pop culture, including Spider-Man, Batman, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Gokuand Darth Vader. But now, it’s time to say hello to the two best fictional characters to come into Fortnite– A sentient pile of Nike products in the vague shape of a human and a woman who appears to be made entirely of semen.

Following last week’s leak, Nike officially announced Tuesday who has built (or, more accurately, hired someone to build) a giant Nike-themed world within Epic’s popular battle royale game. And as part of this collaboration between Nike and Fortnite, the game is adding new items and character skins. And uh… they’re kind of weird, which is saying a lot considering some of the previous characters that have appeared in Fortniteincluding Ninja (the streamer) and a nude version of Peely the banana. But these new collaborative characters from Nike are even stranger than that.

For example, one of them is a man covered (or made entirely of) shoes, tennis balls, water bottles and other sports related items. Pretty weird stuff! I guess this guy squeals a lot when he runs.

The other new character is a woman made of… air? Or maybe her rubber, like you find in a Nike shoe? Well that’s what Nike was with the intention with this completely white skin in the game. But instead, the internet has latched onto the idea that this woman is actually a sentient being made of semen. I’m just reporting this folks, don’t yell at me.

Also, and I shouldn’t have to say this, but be very careful where you are if you start searching for “cum.” Fortnite” On twitter…

If you look around Twitter and such, you’ll quickly discover that a lot of players are reacting to this character in ways that I imagine Nike didn’t expect or want. Many tweets suggest that this is the first person to cum on Fortnite (probably true) or they are asking if the semen lady is real and dangerous. Really, most of the online conversation about Nike cum lady is people logging on to Twitter, seeing tweets about it, scoffing at the idea, searching for a picture of the new character, and realizing that it’s worse than what they thought. they expected.

I wonder if the folks at Nike who wanted to get more creative with this crossover, not just throw some Nike jerseys and shoes into the game and call it a day, are starting to regret their decision.