Internet slams “victimized” woman’s lie about why grandkids can’t come over

A grandmother is being dragged by the internet for lying about why she doesn’t invite her son’s family over.

The Reddit post, titled, “AITA for calling out MIL’s [mother-in-law] lies and making her admit what she said in front of her husband and family?” has received 7,000 upvotes since it was shared on May 25. The original poster (OP), whose account has since been deleted, shared the post to the subreddit “Am I the A**hole,” garnering over 300 comments.

A study conducted last year found that grandmothers feel more of a connection with their grandkids than their own children. Around 50 women with one or more biological grandchildren that were aged 3 to 12 had their brain functions studied using functional magnetic resonance imaging, according to USA Today. The imaging was used to scan their brains as they glanced at images of their grandchild, their own kids, and images of a child unrelated to them.

Reddit users recently slammed a woman’s lie about why her grandkids can’t come over.
GETTY/TOM MERTON

“When grandmothers viewed photographs of their grandchildren, they activated brain regions that have previously been associated with emotional empathy, suggesting that grandmothers may be predisposed to share the emotional states of their grandchildren,” James Rilling, a professor of psychiatry, anthropology, and behavioral sciences at Emory University, explained to USA Today.

In addition, when the women were looking at photos of their own children, areas in the brain tied with cognitive empathy were activated, showing they understood, but were not connecting emotionally with their own kids.

The Post

The OP began by revealing her mother-in-law’s family likes to treat her like “absolute s**t” for “keeping” the woman’s grandchildren from her when in reality, her in-law is “welcome to visit,” but she doesn’t want to as she would have to stay in a hotel. The OP’s in-law “chooses” to never call or video chat, and has only seen the OP’s 5-year-old one time, and has never met the OP’s 3-year-old until recently.

“MIL also doesn’t invite us to visit because she claims her husband doesn’t want us in their house,” the OP continued. “I always thought that made him sound like a controlling do**he, but whatever. We are currently in her state for a wedding. Recently I got crap from MIL’s dad about how it isn’t right, and we should come and see her.”

The OP told him that they aren’t invited since her mother-in-law’s husband doesn’t want them in their house. Apparently, the in-law’s dad gossips, so that information spread around to the entire family. Her father-in-law was upset, and said that he never said that, but her mother-in-law claimed it might be a “misunderstanding,” and they should “let it go.”

“At this point, I realized she had lied about something,” the OP continued. “I said it wasn’t a misunderstanding on my end, as I had clearly heard her say it. MIL’s husband snapped at me that while he wouldn’t enjoy us visiting, he would never be controlling like that with his wife’s son…”

The OP’s husband’s mother “admitted” that her father-in-law never said that, but she “knew how much he would hate having us in his house,” and it made her “sad,” so she didn’t want to invite them.

The OP concluded: “She then got some s**t from the family about being a bad mom and lying. MIL is currently furious with me. She says I should have let her change the subject, that I made her look bad, and that I took what she said too literally.”

Redditors React

Comments poured in over the viral post, with people siding with the OP given the circumstances.

One comment received 7,800 upvotes on its own, which said: “People like her need to be outed for their lying, she lied to save face and to make her look like an innocent victim and to villainize you. You did the right thing by calling her out.”

Another user thinks the OP isn’t the one at fault. “NTA [not the a**hole],” they said. “You took what she literally said too literally? Were you just supposed to ignore what she said and invite yourself over (to a different state with small children)? She wants to be the victimized grandma who never sees the kids and never has to make an effort to see them.”

One user thinks it “sounds” like the OP’s in-law was attempting to “manipulate the situation and make herself out to be a victim. All you did was ask for clarification and get the truth. Even the rest of the family agrees with you. She’s just looking for someone else to blame for her s**tty behavior.”

However, other people were quick to mention the OP’s father-in-law’s feelings as well, and a Redditor admits they wouldn’t say the situation is all the mother-in-law’s fault, adding that her husband “sounds like an unpleasant guy.”

“Saying that he doesn’t want you and your family at their house is not that different from what he actually said,” they reasoned. “MIL had to choose between displeasing her husband and getting in a tough spot with him or displeasing her DIL [daughter-in-law], and she chose you. She still is pretty much to blame for blaming you for the situation, so she still is an AH [a**hole]. But probably her husband is too.”

Another Redditor thinks that based on her father-in-law’s response it didn’t sound like a “web of lies,” but that she “knew he didn’t want you there, so she put his feelings into words. Not to say she’s not TA [the a**hole], she clearly is because if she wanted to see her grandkids she clearly would’ve. And she’s obviously chosen an AH for a husband too.”

Newsweek reached out to the OP for comment.

Other Viral Moments Regarding Family

This isn’t the only viral post involving family drama. A man was recently dragged for charging his wife’s family $25 each to attend a cookout. Earlier this month, a woman was backed for telling her family to “beg” her husband “for forgiveness.” In addition, a man found support for revealing to his family that his “sister” was his mother.

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