Jill Duggar Dillard is becoming sincere his new memories, counting the cost, especially her difficult relationship with his parents to the emotional toll of his childhood trauma coming to light when police reports were leaked to the press.
Jill and her husband, attorney Derick Dillardrecently sat down with ET’s Deidre Behar and reflected on the painful experience of tabloids publishing leaked police reports about how she and some of her his brothers were victims of abuse for his older brother, Josh Duggarwhen they were kids.
“That was a topic in the book that I was very, very careful to mention and didn’t want to go into any further,” Jill shared. “Because it’s a very traumatic time in my life and I talk about it as if I felt humiliated in front of everyone.”
In May 2015, In contact released redacted police records from 2006 revealing that Jill and several of her sisters were victims of sexual abuse by Josh when they were children, and included police interviews with the family patriarch. Jim Bob Duggar. Josh was later convicted of receiving and possessing child pornography and is He is currently serving a sentence of more than 12 years..
In Derick’s opinion, the police reports should never have seen the light of day.
“I think the world didn’t need to know,” Derick said of the leak. “I think the important thing is, once that happened, the judge (should) have destroyed it. That should never have happened.”
As for who they believe is responsible for the leak, Jill stated that “the city of Springdale and Washington County and the police chief and In contact magazine…these people are the people who used us as victims.”
“There were bad actors in the family, bad actors in the media, bad actors in city and county government,” Derick said. “It all created the perfect storm… (and) even to this day, they, the responsible actors, have not been held accountable.”
While reluctant to bring up the details of the reports, Jill explained: “I want to stand up for the victims and just say again that the victims should never be put in the position that they put me in and what happened in my life… with these records exposed.”
After the records came to light, Jill and the other members of her family who were involved in the Duggar family controversy became the center of very unwanted attention. As the years passed, Jill regained more and more of her autonomy and began to address the situation candidly, both privately and publicly.
According to Jill and Derick, this caused real tension between her and Jim Bob.
Jill remembered the last time she saw her father when he was dating her sister. Jinger Duggar, and Jim Bob “showed up” while they were having a “girls lunch.” And while things were outwardly pleasant, Jill said it was clear he was emotionally distancing her.
“He won’t mention anything when we’re all together,” Jill said, adding that the atmosphere “might be awkward,” but not confrontational.
“It’s not like it used to be… It used to be that they would drag you to the side inside a room and (scold you), you know, behind closed doors,” Jill said. “But now… there’s this respect for our boundaries, where I wouldn’t fly. Like, we’d pick up and drop off (if) something came up.”
“I think the sad thing is that the pattern we’ve seen is happening to us, where if you’re someone he can’t control, then you’re isolated,” Derick added. “It’s like, ‘I can’t control you, so you’re isolated.'”
“Sometimes you can hang out and have small talk,” Jill explained. “Which is what I really want now.”
Jill’s moving and heartfelt memoir, counting the cost, is on shelves now. Watch the video below to learn more about ET’s exclusive sit-down with Jill and Derick.