Life as a football fan’s wife: I still don’t get offside, but I understand why it’s ‘the people’s game’

At first, I didn’t really care much about the team itself. I wanted them to win because my husband’s mood – and therefore, the energy of the household – depended on the final score. 

Along the way, however, I began to get involved. My interest is piqued when I see headlines related to player transfers, and I can even keep up with banter between fans of rival clubs or countries – gleefully teasing them when we win, and pretending to hide if our team loses. 

Football’s accessibility and people-centric elements make it so much fun to enjoy, even as someone who is fan-adjacent.

I’ve watched my husband, an introvert who avoids talking to strangers at all costs, happily greet people he has never met simply because they are wearing an Arsenal jersey or a vintage Japan football shirt.

You don’t need to speak football fluently to be invited to celebrate, groan, or shout at the referee along with everyone else. Seeing people cry over a goal or a missed chance, while witnessing thousands of strangers experience the same emotion together, is moving.

I still wouldn’t call myself a full-on football fan. Despite my husband explaining, for the umpteenth time, what the Video Assistant Referee (VAR) system does and why a particular substitution says everything about the team manager’s game plan, I still can’t repeat the rules back to you.

Unlike sports such as fencing, baseball or golf – all of which I have tried watching but got completely lost – football asks very little of the viewer. The objective is wonderfully simple: Get the ball into the other team’s net.

Because of that, I can usually tell when a team is dominating possession, helped by the fact that everyone is wearing matching jerseys. I can feel it when the entire stadium collectively holds its breath because the ball is inches from the goal. And I definitely know when someone scores. 

LEARNING ABOUT THE WORLD THROUGH FOOTBALL 

Because of my husband, I became familiar not only with some players, but also with the wider world surrounding the game.

I have learnt why underdog victories feel especially sweet, and picked up life lessons, one being that no matter how many goals a team can lead by at the start of the match, nothing is ever certain until the final whistle blows. 

Another thing I picked up is also how closely linked football is to politics, money, race, national identity, environmental criticism and global inequality.