The internet was left stunned after a man told his wife that she was “incapable of being a mom” in a post going viral on social media.
Published to Reddit‘s popular r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/Divided-Path4534 shared her story on the platform to get opinions from the “AITA” community.
The original poster (OP) began her story by saying that she and her husband have been trying to have kids for three years. Unfortunately, her pregnancies ended in miscarriages, her recent one was about a month ago. The topic of miscarriages is hard for her to talk about as she has many overwhelming emotions from the losses.
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The couple went to his family’s home for dinner and her mother-in-law brought up her miscarriage.
“The look of disappointment on her face made me lose my appetite completely. She went on and on about what may have caused it then my husband chimed in and said that he’s starting to come to a conclusion that ‘maybe I’m ‘incapable’ of being a mom’ I was floored for two reasons. One is that he’d even say such thing. Two is that no doctor has told me that there was something wrong with me specifically so for him to declare I was ‘incapable’ of bearing children and being a mom hurt like a sting,” she wrote.
“I looked at him and he was like ‘what???’ Then told me to not get offended since he was just being honest. He said he loves me and thinks I’m perfect but still thinks that ‘I’m flawed in that area’ referring to motherhood. I had it at that point, I just got up from my seat and took my stuff and headed to the door. I said nothing just made my way out. He shouted at me but I didn’t stop,” she continued.
She ended up going home and when her husband returned, he snapped at the OP. He told her how she was “immature,” “too sensitive” and “ridiculous.” He said that she disrespected him by walking out on him at dinner and was only giving his “honest opinion” and can’t control what he says regardless if she likes hearing it or not, even if it’s the “truth.”
Newsweek reached out to u/Divided-Path4534 for comment.
Miscarriages, a sudden loss of pregnancy, typically occur before the 20th week of pregnancy, according to MayoClinic.org. The website also states that about 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in a miscarriage.
If you know someone who has recently experienced a miscarriage and you want to help them out, try offering help with things like meal planning or shopping. Other ways to share your condolences are to send a card, purchase a small gift, include the couple in activities and don’t give any advice if you weren’t asked, per thebump.com.
The Reddit community was quick to slam the OP’s husband.
“[Not the a**hole]-gurl don’t have kids with this man,” u/RollingKatamari urged, receiving the top comment of over 26,000 upvotes.
“I am almost speechless. I am so very sorry for your loss and heartache. Before you consider another try, I think you may wish to re-evaluate whether this is the man you want to parent with forever. His insensivity is outrageous and then he doubled down by attacking again at home behind his interpretation of ‘the truth’. What a total [a**hole]. Please consider counseling for yourself – for your grief, frustration, and to determine whether you really want to continue with this abusive boor. Soooo [not the a**hole],” u/NGDGUnpunished wrote.
“[Not the a**hole] – you have not handled it the right way. The right way is to change the locks, send him to mom and divorce him,” u/Disastrous_Ad_8561 exclaimed.
U/Poekienijn commented, “[Not the a**hole]. Please leave this man. I don’t say this lightly but someone who treats you like this doesn’t truly love you. You deserve so much better and the sooner you break off this toxic marriage the better. You can find happiness.”