A mom he wrote on the r/parenting subreddit. to offer a candid and emotional update on how her mental health has changed during her first year as a mother. She acknowledged that she suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety, and noted that as a result, “when my son was born, she didn’t want to be his mother.”
The mom who ‘hated’ motherhood gave a hopeful 1-year update.
She explained that they “prayed for her son, planned for him, and loved him because of the positive pregnancy test,” but that didn’t stop the emotional depression she experienced due to postpartum depression and anxiety. She cared for him and cared for him, but “it all seemed like an arduous task. She couldn’t find any joy in what she was doing.”
The mother gave an honest assessment of the tender months following her son’s birth, saying, “I’m glad he’s in this world, but I would pray that someone would be there to pick him up.”
The dissonance she felt is not uncommon, especially for moms experiencing a postpartum mood disorder.
He Office of Women’s Healthwhich is a branch of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, explained that a person’s body and mind inevitably change during pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period, and yet they still feel hopeless, worthless, or disconnected from the baby It can mean the onset of a postpartum mood disorder.
He The Office on Women’s Health notes that one in nine new mothers report having postpartum depression, a statistic that does not take into account unreported or undiagnosed cases. New moms often feel shame for feeling down during a time when societal expectations reinforce the idea that all moms immediately fall in love with their babies. However, that expectation is not always realistic and does not represent what many moms really feel.
In addition to medical treatment and therapy, the Office on Women’s Health offered some guidelines on how to begin the healing process, including asking for help with household chores and getting as much rest as possible. They also suggest that moms express out loud how they feel, as a way to recognize and vocalize what they are going through. There are simple things moms can try, like meeting up with a friend or talking to other moms, to normalize their experience of having postpartum depression.
In the year since her son’s birth, the mother has received treatment for postpartum mood disorders and feels the love she previously worried she was missing. She explained: “I love him so much it hurts. “I love being his mom.”
The mother came to an honest understanding of parenthood, which allowed her to accept herself as she is, not an idealized version.
“I came to the conclusion that I hate the baby stage,” she explained. “And it’s OK.”
She recognized that staying on a high dose of antidepressants regulates and stabilizes your mood, but giving yourself the grace to love your child without loving the baby stage has been clearly eye-opening.
“I can finally see the light,” he said. “And I can’t wait for the next stage because maybe I’ll enjoy childhood even more. “I am full of hope, a year ago I was full of darkness.”
The mother’s story is a testament to the fact that no feelings are permanent, no matter how hard they are initially.
She shared her story to offer hope to other parents in similar situations, reinforcing: “It’s okay to hate (the) baby stage. You’re not weird or evil. “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t become a mother.”
She ended her post with a sweet message to her son, exclaiming, “Happy birthday, my beautiful, sweet angel. Mom loves you.”
She shows that the scope of parental love is a powerful thing, even if it doesn’t fit the version of love society expects a person to have.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team. She covers parenting, pop culture analysis, and all things entertainment industry related.