Because marriage is an ever-evolving experience, we constantly shift, change and, in some cases, start over. In It’s No Secret, couples share thoughts about commitment and tell us what they have learned, revealing their secret to making it work. (Answers are edited for context and space.)

Who Sharene Wood, 47, and Guy Wood, 57

Occupation The couple own and run 5001 Flavors, a custom apparel and accessories brand that caters to people in the entertainment industry, and Harlem Haberdashery, a bespoke clothing boutique, both based in New York.

Their Marriage 13 years, 1 month and counting

Through the Years

The couple were married May 6, 2007 at the Palms Hotel in Miami Beach before 175 guests. Mr. Wood’s oldest son was the best man. “I designed and had all of the suits custom made,” said Mr. Wood, who dressed his seven groomsman in white silk shirts and matching white dinner jackets and black pants. “I wanted a uniformed look that would be timeless rather than crazy.”

The couple have a daughter, Sydney, 12. Mr. Wood has two sons, Jordan, 22, and Guy Jr., 31, and a daughter, Brittny, 33, from previous relationships.

Sharene Barnett and Guy Wood met in 1989 at a diner in the Bronx. “I didn’t notice him, but he noticed me,” she said. “He approached me and introduced himself. He asked for my number and called the next day.”

Their first date was at a restaurant in the East Village. She liked him, but was only 18 at the time and not ready for a relationship. Her sights were set on applying to colleges. He was almost 10 years older and had two children from past relationships. So rather than date, they became friends. A year went by. She was accepted to Columbia. In 1991, their friendship evolved into dating.

“I wasn’t thinking marriage, but I realized we were very like-minded and we loved being together,” she said.

During this time Mr. Wood was approached by a record producer to start a clothing company for people in the music industry. He brought Ms. Barnett on board. By the summer of 1993, the pair moved in together. While the business was moving forward, the relationship was not. “Guy wasn’t behaving well or making good relationship decisions,” she said. “He wasn’t ready to commit. Our romantic life fell apart. Only the business was sustaining us.”

The couple broke up in 1996. She moved out and found her own apartment, and herself. “I stepped into who I was,” she said. ‘I wasn’t dating, I was enjoying my independence.” Mr. Wood saw other people. He had another child. Years went by. Both the business and their friendship continued to grow. In June 2006, during dinner at a restaurant in Harlem Mr. Wood had a sobering moment. “He said, ‘Everything I’m looking for you are. It took me a long time to realize that,’” she said. “I was so relieved and happy. I realized he’d grown into who I wanted him to be.” They became a couple again that night. Ten months later they were married.

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What They’ve Learned

Mrs. Wood Guy is creative, resourceful and brings joy and energy into a room. He lights up my world. I’m very practical and rigid. I’ve given him vision and clarity around his life. He’s taught me to dream more. His carefree ability has made me less stressful and unburdened me.

When I was single, I learned I could stand on my own. Sometimes you have to pick loving yourself over the relationship. That makes it easier to come back to a relationship. We always had this human connection and I’ve always loved him. But he wasn’t my husband until he grew into it. Now that he has, life with him has been amazing.

I’ve learned friendship and love can coexist in the same place and space, that we’re strong in our own way, but together we’re more so.

Marriage taught me people really can change — and for the better. It is an evolution of self, and this other person you’re with. I’ve learned who you are when you get married is not who you are in the marriage. You have to love and trust each other in order to go to the next level of your life. Partnership is not always 50/50. There are days, weeks, even months when it’s not. Sometimes one person takes the lead. That it’s a “we,” and how does this help “we” rather than how does this help me.

In this marriage, Guy blossomed into the man and father I knew he could be. Marrying him was the right decision. I’m happy; I love this man. I love how we weathered a storm and came back together. Our breakup was part of the journey. If we didn’t take that break, we wouldn’t be where we are, and be who we are.

Mr. Wood I was very immature when I met Shay. I’d been in a lot of bad relationships. I’d been hurt. I’d been cheated on. Then I did that same thing to someone else. It took me time to realize I didn’t like who I was becoming. Shay was nothing like that. I knew I was hurting her, which is why we broke up. I didn’t want to destroy her or our friendship, especially when she was the only one who had been there for me. She was my best friend. I’d never had that before. I was waiting for her to put her foot down. And when she did I realized I needed to grow up. That took 10 years.

Since we got married, I’ve learned how to be a we, not an I. I’ve learned to stop running after the shiny stuff; to be honest with myself and with her; to step up, become trustworthy and accountable. She’s given me confidence and made me a better person. She taught me how to make a plan and to care enough to have one. She’s taught me how to be the man I’m supposed to be for her and our family, not the man the world thinks I am. I’ve learned to take a walk, rather than run away. If something didn’t go the way I wanted I was gone.

My wife was strong enough to weather the storms I created and love me anyway. I’ve never lived by myself so I never got a chance to find myself. I found myself with Shay.

I don’t need anything but my family, who I now put first. I make sure she’s good. I’ve learned that’s not hard to do. I thought it was, but I’ve learned seeing her happy is everything.

Through the Quarantine

Like so many roommates, partners spouses and families, the couple and their children have been staying at home because of the coronavirus.

Mrs. Wood We’re trying to be optimistic in terms of living with the virus. We’re home trying to process and reassess everything that’s happening. It’s a lot to digest. We’re both home now, and our daughter is doing home schooling. Rather than panic, we’re trying to take it all in and remember how much we love each other. I realized I could do more with less, and be more financially responsible and resourceful.

Mr. Wood When the coronavirus started, I didn’t take it seriously. Now I do. It’s given me a greater appreciation for life and for having a close family. It’s made me hold onto my family tighter because it took me so long to get there. This has been a time of contemplation and for gratefulness.

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As restaurants around the country look to reopen during the coronavirus pandemic, outdoor seating is becoming a survival option, and local governments are helping by cutting red tape.

If a restaurant in Louisville, Ky., for instance, had wanted to offer dining service on a patio before the pandemic, it would have had to apply for a permit, pay fees of $1,150 — and then wait, for up to six months.

Not so today.

To help restaurants get back on their feet after the coronavirus-induced shutdown, the city has waived its fee for outdoor dining and substantially shortened the processing time for applications. The approval for outdoor seating, which involves neighborhood review of a restaurant’s plans, used to take three to six months. Now, the wait is a couple of days.

“We’re loosening up a bit,” said Louisville’s mayor, Greg Fischer.

This scenario is being repeated across the country as local governments rapidly rewrite the rules about how restaurants can operate when they reopen after quarantine shutdowns battered their businesses. And the cost for restaurants to open outdoor seating can be as low as a few thousand dollars.

The leisure and hospitality industry, which includes restaurants, suffered severe losses in April, shedding more than seven million jobs, but bounced back in May as furloughed employees returned to work.

With the spread of the coronavirus still a danger, many states are requiring that restaurants reduce their capacity to 25 to 50 percent of normal operations to ensure there is at least six feet between tables, in keeping with social-distancing practices. Some, like New Jersey, are prohibiting indoor dining altogether for the time being.

However, even as states take away capacity in the name of public safety, local officials are trying to give at least some of it back by allowing eating establishments to expand onto patios and parking lots, and even city sidewalks and streets. But the moves are disrupting neighborhoods and costing cities much-needed tax revenue.

The effort appears to be paying off. OpenTable, a provider of online restaurant reservations, has counted a tenfold increase in outdoor seating this spring compared with a year ago.

The restaurant industry supports the new flexibility on outdoor seating as a way to help restaurants regain their footing. Restaurants lost more than $120 billion in sales during March, April and May, according to the National Restaurant Association. The trade group also said that 3 percent of restaurants that responded to its surveys had already closed permanently because of the pandemic, and an estimated eight million restaurant employees are still out of work.

But the risk of contracting the coronavirus remains for patrons and employees. As of Saturday, coronavirus cases were climbing in 22 states amid reopening plans. Several Florida bars voluntarily closed their dining rooms recently after workers tested positive for the virus.

And some are wondering what it says about local regulations concerning outdoor seating if they are so easily swept away.

Pre-pandemic rules sought to ensure that restaurants adhere to health and fire safety codes, provide equal access to those with disabilities and protect neighbors from noise and disruption. The new practices raise equity issues, with some critics arguing that allowing restaurants to expand outdoors effectively favors customers over everyone else in a neighborhood.

Some cities could lose revenue, too. Procedures vary by municipality, but in many places, government agencies that review applications for outdoor dining solicit community feedback. Application and annual renewal fees in some places can add up to several thousand dollars a year. Some cities charge fees based on the amount of outdoor space used.

But with restaurants in dire straits and the clock ticking before some go under, governments are reducing or waiving fees and quickly approving plans they previously may have taken months to process.

“What you’re seeing now is the expediency of helping people instead of spending the time asking everyone if it’s OK,” said Matthew Kwatinetz, director of the Urban Lab at the Schack Institute of Real Estate at New York University’s School of Professional Studies.

The new open-air seating arrangements not only help the restaurant industry recapture lost business, they also appeal to customers who want a restaurant meal but are wary of venturing inside, where the virus can spread more easily, as studies have shown. In a recent survey by the online publication Slate, 36 percent of respondents said they would eat at a restaurant outdoors, while only 15 percent said they would eat at a restaurant indoors with reduced seating.

Restaurants in suburban and rural areas may be able to add tables on their own property.

When Craft House in Dana Point, Calif., reopened after a two-month quarantine, it had to reduce seating indoors. But the restaurant also got the green light to turn 11 of the 20 spots in its parking lot into an impromptu dining area, strung with lights. Total cost: around $5,000.

“Luckily, there have been no issues from the neighbors,” said Blake Mellgren, the proprietor and executive chef.

In urban areas where restaurants may not have private outdoor space, governments are letting them set up tables on sidewalks, streets and public plazas. Even on-street parking spots are being used for impromptu seating areas known as parklets or streateries.

When Florida allowed restaurants to reopen at 25 percent capacity in early May, Tampa experimented with some of these approaches in a two-week pilot program. It suspended permit requirements for sidewalk seating, and it allowed restaurants to use adjacent on-street parking spaces for dining spots set off by planters, fences and traffic cones. Fire safety and accessibility requirements remained in effect.

The city also closed several streets to vehicle traffic, creating “cafe and retail zones” that were monitored by the police and code enforcement officers. To prevent people from milling around while waiting for tables, the city established a “no seat, no service” policy and asked people to make reservations.

In Tampa, some restaurants pushed back, arguing that road closures hindered businesses because they eliminated through traffic and made it more difficult for customers to pick up takeout orders. But city officials deemed the pilot an overall success and have allowed some streets to remain closed and the sidewalk seating to continue, said Carole Post, administrator for development and economic opportunity.

Cities in the Northeast are trying similar tactics.

In Hoboken, N.J., officials devised a small-business recovery strategy that went into effect on Monday. Restaurants may set up tables on sidewalks and parking spots until Oct. 15, when the new measures will be reassessed.

“A year ago, if you had asked any one of us to give up sidewalk space to businesses, we would have said absolutely not,” said Jennifer Giattino, president of the City Council and a proponent of the plan. “Now our thinking has changed to let’s try anything as long as it’s safe.”

Outdoor seating has its limits, of course, not the least of which is the weather. Although nice on a temperate day, it can lose its allure in rain or blazing or chilly days.

And alfresco tables may help some restaurants recapture some or all of the capacity lost indoors, but the strategy might not be enough for others to reopen, given current operating limits.

In Louisville, where indoor capacity is capped at 33 percent per state directive, some restaurants are taking a “lag and learn” approach, said Mr. Fischer, the mayor.

But Catherine Mac Dowall and Michael Kerrigan, proprietors of the farm-to-table restaurant Naïve, dived in.

The business partners, who are married, had long wanted to add seating in back of the building they rent in Louisville’s artsy Butchertown neighborhood. One thing that had always held them back were the “tons of hoops to jump through,” as Ms. Mac Dowall put it, to get everything approved.

But when she and her husband heard that the city had streamlined the process in its reopening plans, they quickly filled out a short online application. Once it was approved, they leveled the backyard, covered it with gravel and added tables.

The first day the new patio was open, almost all the restaurant’s customers sat outside.

Ms. Mac Dowall praised city officials for making the process so easy, while also expressing regret that the decision did not come sooner. “Why couldn’t it have been easier before?” she asked. “Why did it take a pandemic for the government to allow people to eat outside?”