Stephen Colbert Explains How He’s Been Quietly Trolling Trump Every Night For 5 Months

“I’m not trying to scrub him out,” Colbert said. “It’s just that legend has it, now that he’s out of office, if you say his name three times, he appears in your bathroom mirror and then uses your toilet while complaining that it’s low flush.” 

Colbert stopped using Trump’s name after he falsely declared victory on Nov. 6. 

“I think I’ve paid my dues in that regard,” Colbert said. 

So, he looked for ways around it.

“Usually, I call him ‘the former president’ but that gives him dignity ― and me flashbacks,” he said. 

But now Colbert’s stuck and he wants help finding a new name for the old president. 

“I’m looking for a reliable substitute for his name,” Colbert said. “Maybe I should just call him, y’know, ‘Melania’s husband,’ or ‘Jeff Epstein’s dance partner’ or something really insulting, like ‘Don Jr.’s father.’”

Colbert asked viewers to offer suggestions on Twitter using the hashtag #HeWhoShallBeNamed and they delivered: 

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