Jo Flores’ “little barcodes showing up in colonoscopies” complaint (C8) is legit, according to Toby Waters of Emerald Beach who reports that “my beautiful and esteemed father once found a Royal Gala sticker during a colonoscopy in a patient with a bowel complaint. I asked dad if anyone in the theatre declared ‘she’ll be apples’?”
“I suggest mass civil disobedience, Gandhi style, to get rid of them,” offers Stephanie Edwards of Leichhardt. “Peel them off and leave them at the checkout. So many would accumulate that the supermarkets would be forced to do something.”
Alison Stewart of Waitara claims they don’t ever break down. “Months later, when spreading compost, the fruit stickers and post labels persevere in the rich, dark mulch.”
Granny doesn’t feel so gullible now, thanks to Alex Springall of Westleigh and his explanation that “the Fairfax helicopter mail (C8) must be one of the longest-running private mail services around. When I was at school in the early 1960s, a schoolmate had a weekend job at the Herald and, being sent to the roof to collect the helicopter mail was something new starters endured even then, when helicopters were a rarity. Apprentices at Qantas were often sent to the tool store for a can of airscrew pitch, but I think most of us had been forewarned.”
Denis Minehan of Cooma recalls: “When digital cameras were first coming into vogue a friend of mine was sent by his work colleagues to the local photography shop to collect a roll of digital film.”
The cruelty never ends: “As an eager newbie in the ’70s, I volunteered to assist the committee managing our annual golf tournament,” says John Wall of Illawong. “When totaling the scorecards at the end, I was dispatched to the bar to find an alleged missing card owned by one Mr R. Sole. Unfortunately, the penny didn’t drop until I had fronted numerous amused colleagues.”
Here’s a lifestyle tip from Andrew Cohen of Glebe: “Before vacuuming floors I ‘dust’ using a leaf blower, starting at one end of my home and ending at my open front door. It works fine.”
“Why does NSW currently not have a car registration plate slogan?” asks George Zivkovic of Northmead. “After being ‘The Premier State’, ‘The First State’ and aiming ‘Towards 2000’, have successive state governments over the last 26 years simply given up? How about ‘NSW – State Of Confusion’?”
Column8@smh.com.au
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