An extremely happy Declan Rice talks to Sky. â€œJesus Christ! We started really well. Three great goals. But our second-half performance wasnâ€™t good enough. We need to stop being in the comfort zone, dropping deep. But luckily enough we got the win. Tonight is massive, the fans were nervous and Iâ€™m so happy we could give them the three points. When I saw my shot hit the back of the net, it was a great feeling, to get one on a special night like this, Iâ€™m over the moon. We canâ€™t say weâ€™re safe yet, because itâ€™s not mathematically done. Itâ€™s not over to the final day, and weâ€™ll keep fighting. Special mention to the manager as well, they work 24/7 to get the best team out.â€
Yep, West Ham are pretty much safe now. Theyâ€™re six clear of the danger zone with two games to play, and no team has ever been relegated from such a position. Theyâ€™ve also got a much healthier goal difference than Aston Villa, Bournemouth and Watford. Some very strange events would have to occur now for them to go down. Watford, though, are in bother. Theyâ€™ve got three points on Bournemouth and Villa, but theyâ€™ve got to host Manchester City and travel to Arsenal, and goal difference is no longer their friend. Having said all that, Watford have been pulling off stunning victories over Arsenal for decades, so all is not lost. Itâ€™s going to be some scrap for survival, and it could well go down to the wire.
FULL TIME: West Ham United 3-1 Watford
A huge and richly deserved win for West Ham, who steamrollered Watford in the first half, then weathered a brief second-half storm. They could easily have slipped into panic mode, but they held firm, and while Premier League survival isnâ€™t guaranteed mathematically yet, theyâ€™re surely all but safe. And they celebrate accordingly with a big group hug. Watford, with two very difficult games left, are suddenly looking over their shoulder at Bournemouth, who donâ€™t.
90 min +4: Antonio, who has done as much as anyone to keep West Ham in this division, is replaced by Balbuena.
90 min +3: Antonio takes it into the corner. Clever play, as time ticks on.
90 min +2: Watford hoick a couple of hail Marys into the West Ham box. The hosts deal with them easily enough.
90 min: Space for Gray down the left. One rush of blood later, and the ballâ€™s sailing out of play on the right. There will be five more minutes of this.
88 min: Cleverley sends Sarr skating away down the right. Heâ€™s got Gray in the middle, but his low curling cross is no good, behind his team-mate, and Johnson is able to clear.
85 min: Johnson wins a corner down the right. Nothing comes of it, but the clock ticks on.
84 min: â€œIf Tom Shaw is covering both ears, what did he use to type his message? And was that why he was hiding behind the sofa?â€ Adam Hirst, ladies and gentlemen. Heâ€™s here all week. Try the pie and liquor.
82 min: Yarmolenko comes on for Bowen. Then Sarr curls in from the right. Itâ€™s a fiendish cross, but Gray takes a fresh-air swipe six yards out, then the ball clanks off a confused Welbeck and over the bar. What a chance to get the West Ham nerves jangling that was.
81 min: Sarr and Gray combine again down the right, Gray starting his run into the box from an onside position this time. He tries to pull back for Welbeck in the middle, but Ogbonna blocks and clears.
80 min: Watford pass it around in midfield, to no great effect. West Ham are perfectly happy to leave them to it.
78 min: Sarr and Gray try to make some space on the right with a crisp interchange, but the flag goes up for an offside. Watford have lost all of their early second-half momentum.
77 min: The clock ticks on, and West Ham edge ever closer to safety. Or being all but safe, at the very least. Not that their fans are taking anything for granted. â€œI was at Upton Park in about 1967 when we led Stoke City 3-0 at half time with a side that contained over a quarter of the World Cup winning team,â€ writes Tom Shaw. â€œWe ended up losing 3-4. That memory has never left me, which is why Iâ€™m hiding behind the sofa with my ears covered right now.â€
75 min: Antonio sashays down the left and curls in a cross with the outside of his right boot. Soucek heads over from close range.
73 min: A loose ball bouncing 30 yards from the Watford goal, with Foster in no-manâ€™s land. Haller, with his first touch, loops over the keeper and towards the empty net … but Foster, backpedalling furiously, gets a fingertip to the ball and sends it inches wide left. The resulting corner is a non-event.
72 min: The game restarts, both sides having made a change. Haller comes on for Fornals, while Chalobah replaces Doucoure.
70 min: A corner on the right leads to one on the left. From that, Hughes and Sarr break upfield, combining down the right, but ultimately running the ball out of play for a goal kick.
69 min: Rice takes a belt from distance. The ball pings off the top of Dawsonâ€™s noggin and out for a corner.
67 min: Watford need to try something different, so Gray comes on for Deeney.
66 min: Watford continue to dominate possession, though West Ham have regained much of their composure.
64 min: Antonio chases a lost cause down the left and nearly strips the ball from a wandering Foster. The keeper just about ushers the ball out for a goal kick, but he had to strain every sinew to hold Antonio off. â€œI think Larry did want people to keep flipping,â€ argues Niall Mullen. â€œAnd also not to. He was a self-hating narcissist doing a job he loved but couldnâ€™t stand. He wanted everyone to love him and leave him the hell alone.â€
61 min: A Watford free kick, out on the right. Cleverley swings it long. Diop is forced to head out for a corner. From the set piece, Bowen breaks upfield at pace. He makes it all the way to the edge of the Watford box, where heâ€™s unceremoniously barged to the ground by a clumsy Kiko. A dangerous position this, just to the right of centre.
59 min: Kiko fizzes a ball across the face of goal from the left. Neither Sarr nor Welbeck can extend a leg at the far post to turn it home. Another goal – and the momentum has changed – and West Ham will get the fear.
58 min: Cleverley quarterbacks again, and Dawson nearly cushions a header down to the feet of Deeney, on the penalty spot. Not quite.
57 min: Watford continue on the front foot. Cleverley crosses from the right, causing Fabianski to punch clear from a crowded box, albeit not in a particularly convincing fashion.
55 min: Sarr gets himself into a good position on the right, but floats a harmless cross out for a goal kick. Watford fancy this now.
53 min: West Ham have dropped 24 points from winning positions this season, the worst record in the division. Just sayinâ€™. Meanwhile hereâ€™s Matt Burtz, asking the big questions: â€œIf Larry didnâ€™t want people to flip channels, why did he always demonstrate how to do it?â€
51 min: West Ham respond by winning three corners. Nothing comes of any of them. Thereâ€™s no way the goal tally of this match is stopping at four, though. Itâ€™s absurdly open.
GOAL! West Ham United 3-1 Watford (Deeney 49)
Hello there. Deeney, on the left touchline, backheels to Welbeck who flicks Doucoure. Doucoure strides into the box and turns Ogbonna gracefully, before curling a gorgeous sidefoot around Fabianski and off the bottom of the right-hand post. Deeney calmly slots the rebound into the bottom right. Game on!
47 min: Watford are on the front foot immediately, Welbeck romping down the right, Sarr then winning a corner. Hughes takes, and Kabasele tries to guide a header into the bottom left. The ball flies just wide. A good chance.
West Ham get the second half underway. Watford have made a change: the left-back Masina is hooked. Kiko will move over to take his place, while Mariappa comes on as right-back.
Half-time entertainment. One thing we do already know: Leeds United are back. Louise Taylor explains how that interminable 16-year exile was brought to an end.
HALF TIME: West Ham United 3-0 Watford
As things stand, West Ham are all but safe, while Watfordâ€™s goal difference has taken the sort of hammering that will give Bournemouth and Aston Villa a boost going into the final two rounds of matches. Plenty of time yet for it all to change, of course. See you after the break. No flipping!
45 min +1: The resulting free kick is worked wide right to Kiko, who curls a fine cross towards Dawson. From six yards, the big defender whistles his header harmlessly over the bar, a huge chance to give Watford a little half-time hope spurned.
45 min: Johnson gives the ball away by the centre circle. Sarr goes racing off down the middle, with options either side, the West Ham defence backtracking in a panic. Rice takes a booking for the team, clipping Sarr cynically on the ankle.
44 min: Masina flings a long throw into the mixer from the left. A game of head tennis breaks out, and Bowen wins it.
42 min: West Ham appear happy enough to let Watford have the ball. The visitors are doing nothing with it.
40 min: Watford spend a bit of time in the West Ham final third, but the hosts hold their shape and thereâ€™s no way through. Watford desperately need something before the break if thereâ€™s to be any hope for them.
38 min: Watford are stunned. No wonder, that was a very strange goal. Not sure what Foster was thinking about; he wasnâ€™t unsighted, but didnâ€™t respond at all. Did he think the shot was sailing wide? He certainly started beating the ground with his big fists as the net rippled.
GOAL! West Ham United 3-0 Watford (Rice 36)
From the corner, Noble plays a pass back up the left wing for Rice, who drops a shoulder, drifts inside, and curls a stunner from 25 yards into the bottom right! That fairly flew in, the surprise element catching Foster flat-footed. Rice romps towards the bench and celebrates with his manager, smiles all round.
35 min: Hughes is booked for a cynical clip on Noble, who was busy instigating a break down the left wing. That happens after the referee plays on anyway, Fornals tearing upfield and winning a corner. An exercise in futility. Especially as …