Why many women still find it hard to talk about money – and what could change if they did

When girlfriends gather, conversations tend to revolve around work, food, family and travel. But one topic still seems very much taboo – money and finances.

“We grew up in a culture where discussing money was considered impolite – something private or even taboo,” said Wendy Wong, associate director at Finexis Advisory, a financial advisory in Singapore. “So even successful women sometimes hesitate to talk about their salaries, investments and financial goals.”

This rings true for stay-at-home mother Lennette Koh, 41. “My parents aren’t the kind that are great with finances, so my sister and I were never really taught much about money matters, let alone had financial conversations when we were younger.”

There is also an emotional aspect associated with money. “For many women, money represents security, identity and even self-worth,” said Wong. Discussing their financial situation is akin to baring their souls and can make some women feel uncomfortable.

Feelings of guilt, shame or fear of being judged at spending too much can also lead to further discomfort or even complete avoidance of financial discussions, added Karen Tang, a certified financial planner and a finance coach who runs Karentang.sg.

A LACK OF CONFIDENCE

Our cultural and social upbringing can result in low financial confidence, due to women not having enough exposure or guidance, said Wong.

This lack of confidence can lead to “perfection paralysis” – an obsession with achieving perfection that can lead to inaction, procrastination and missed opportunities, said Tang. “Women often feel that they must understand everything before starting, whereas men are more willing to learn on-the-job.”